Jenn and I are celebrating 15 years of marriage in December. I was not a Christian when we married, but by God’s grace I am one today. That is why I am astonished that I ended up being married to a woman who would still be my choice today as a Christian seeking a partner to be equally yoked with. As I look back over our time together I am thrilled to be married to my best friend and I can say that she is everything I could have hoped for in a wife.
She loves the Lord and seeks Him regularly through His Word and in prayer. She loves, respects, and helps me. She loves our children and pours herself into their education. She shares my vision for our family. She is beautiful, humble, intelligent, and funny. She has a strong desire to serve and demonstrates this in her care for our family and others. We stay connected through our shared faith and through meaningful conversations. We have grown closer over time and especially during the difficult times we’ve shared together. I know that God has blessed me more than I deserve in so many ways and having Jenn as my wife is definitely one of those blessings.
As we have journeyed together in our Christian walk I know that we were not always biblical in our approach. Even after coming to faith I know that I still had many blinders on in the area of marriage and family. Because we are sinful, the only way to remove these blinders is for Christians to read what the Bible says and then change what we are doing to conform to the principles, patterns, and commands found in God’s Word. With so much misinformation out there, I decided to share the basics about what the Bible teaches regarding marriage.
What the Bible says about Marriage
Right after God made Adam (man) in His own image, He saw that “it was not good for man to be alone,” so He made Eve (woman) from the body of Adam and she was also made in His image (Gen. 1:27-28; 2:18, 21-23). God then divinely instituted marriage to be an exclusive union between one man and one woman. As the first human institution, it is the foundational jurisdiction for civilization. In addition to companionship, God created marriage to provide man with a suitable helper, to provide safe parameters for sexual union and the procreation of children, to provide the right environment for raising children in the faith, and for taking dominion over the earth (Gen. 1:27-28; 9:7; Ps. 8; Mal. 2:15-16). “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).
Further guidelines for marriage:
- We are to remain virgins until marriage (Deut. 22:13-17; 1 Cor. 6:13-18; 7:12-14)-No pre-marital sex!
- We may only marry one person (Gen. 2:21-25; 1 Tim. 3:2,12)-No polygamy!
- We may not marry non-believers (Ex. 34:15-16; Deut. 7:3-4; 2 Cor. 6:14-15)-Do not be unequally yoked!
- We may not marry our own blood relatives (Lev. 18:6-8; Deut. 27:20-23)
- We may not marry people of the same sex (Lev 18:22; 20:13; Rom. 1: 26-28; 1 Cor. 6:9-10)-No homosexuality!
- We may not commit adultery (Ex. 20:14; Pr. 6:32; Luke 18:18-20).
- Since God joined a married couple together, marriage is not just a civil contract, therefore, a married couple should remain married for life and they are not permitted to divorce except for sexual immorality (Matt. 5:32; 19:1-9) or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (Matt. 19:6).
- A widow is free to remarry a believing spouse (1 Cor. 7:39) and encouraged to do so if tempted by the flesh to sin (1 Cor. 7:8-9) or if they are still young (1 Tim. 5:14).
- A person who illegitimately divorces and remarries another person is guilty of adultery (Matthew 19:3-9).
- Women who are unequally yoked with unbelieving husbands are counseled to be a witness to them through their example (1 Cor. 7:14; 1 Peter 3:1).
- If a man does not treat his wife respectfully, his prayers will be hindered (1 Peter 3:7) and if he breaks faith with his wife then God will not accept his sacrifices (Mal. 2:14). The principle here is that if a husband treats his wife poorly then it will harm his relationship with God.
Unbiblical Marriage
These passages from the Bible clearly relate how importantly God views marriage and yet marriage is not viewed the same way by most self-professing Christians.
- Most young people have sex before marriage.
- More and more adults are choosing to live together and engage in sexual immorality instead of marrying or they do so for a while before marrying.
- Many Christian men are addicted to pornography, which is adultery of the heart (Matt. 5:27-28).
- About 25% of self-professing Christian marriages end in divorce, which is close to the national average.
- Homosexual groups and their secular humanist allies are aggressively working to force society to recognize a union between a man and man or a woman and a woman as being equal to that of one man and one woman. The arguments they use are the same kinds of arguments that polygamists use. Many self-professing Christians ignore God’s clear prohibition against homosexuality and, instead, say that homosexuality is a blessing from God and that God would want to bless a relationship between two people who love each other.
The people that advocate these positions are not Christian and they are not interested in truth. God is the source of truth and God condemns these behaviors in His Word. God established marriage and the family as the first human institution. Since it is divinely instituted then only God can change it.
What Marriage Symbolizes
Up to this point we can see that marriage is incredibly important as mankind’s primary human relationship, but it is even more important than we realize because it also characterizes another relationship. In Ephesians 3:4-7, the Apostle Paul uses the word “mystery” to describe truths about Christ that were previously unknown until God revealed them to His prophets and apostles in New Testament times. Later, in Ephesians 5:25-30, Paul reveals the mystery of the relationship between marriage and Christ’s relationship with the Church:
“Husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless and undefiled. So husbands ought to also love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it, just like Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”
In this passage we see that the love a husband has for his wife must be modeled after that of Christ’s love for the church. Jesus gave everything he had for the church including His own life, which means that a husband must love his wife in an unselfish and sacrificial way. Furthermore, a husband’s Christ-like love seeks to purify his wife of anything sinful that would displease God.
COMING NEXT:
“Restoring the Biblical Family: God’s Plan for Men and Women”
Looking forward to what you have to post.